Babysit basics
by Poriichu
Summary: As Mongolia got a call from China asking him to babysit the little kids he just decided why not? And so this ridiculous day begins.
1. A request

**Title:** Babysit basics

**Chapter:** A request

**Notes: **Well since Mongolia is the 2nd oldest in the asia family I thought this would be a funny idea. So the story goes like this. China and Mongolia had this huge fight and this caused Mongolia to move out. He never wanted to see them ever again. This story happens 2 years later.

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Because if it belonged to me Prussia and Canada would be canon.

:::

Hanaa was reading when the phone rang. The phone was next to his bed so he took it while continuing the book.

"Baina uu?" he asked waiting for a reply.

"Uh, Hi Hanaa." A familiar voice said. Hanaa almost dropped the phone to the floor but regained his composure quickly.

"What do you want Yao?" Hanaa said trying to sound nonchalant. But he was terribly angry. Why the heck does he need to call? Hanaa told him that he never wants to see or hear of them ever again!

"I wanted to ask where you are." Yao said. Hanaa could hear someone shouting Breasts in the background. Ever so slightly disturbing.

"I'm at my home. Is there something wrong?" He then said trying to ignore the shouting. "And also who is shouting … breasts?"

"Oh that's Yong-Soo aru. But uh… can you be a babysitter!"

An awkward silence spread. Hanaa tried to make sense out of these words but just couldn't.

"Babysitter…?" he brought out questioning his own hearing. He must have misheard. He has to!

"Please! I have to go to a business meeting and Kiku is sick and everyone else is too young to watch themselves aru!" Yao exclaimed.

"They hardly know me! And what do you mean with everyone there are only two, right? Kiku and Yong-Soo are the only ones! Am I wrong?"

"There are a lot more then that…" Yao said depressed. "But please aru! It's only for one day! No Hong! You can't draw on the walls! And Yong-Soo, don't go to Kiku he is sleeping!"

As Hanaa heard Yao shout and run around he felt… somehow funny. Well he was bored. Couldn't be too bad to check how things are going there. And well he does want to know who those mysterious kids are. They do sound like a handful.

"Okay Yao I'll come now."

"Really aru? Thank you, I hope you don't turn insane with them around. Can you come in 30 minutes?" Yao said gladly.

"Yeah I can manage that." Hanaa said.

"I'll explain everything to you when you come here! And again thank you aru!"

As Hanaa put the phone back he went silent for a moment. Then he hit himself on the head for being such an idiot. He never met the kids ever in his life! And one of them was shouting breasts! And what did he mean with a lot more than that? How is he going to handle it!

"Oh well can't be too bad."

:::

Imagine Mongolia as a babysitter. Crack is ensured.


	2. More than expected

**Title:** Babysit basics

**Chapter:** More than expected

**Notes: **I did not know what names I should use for Vietnam and Thailand so I chose random names from their respective country.

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Because if it belonged to me Prussia and Canada would be canon.

:::

He stood in front of the house with an odd mix of anxiety and dread. So what is he supposed to do? Knock? Wait? Stand here until the world goes down in a frenzy of blood and pain? He slapped himself at that thought.

"Snap out of it you idiot…" he mumbled still staring at the door. Well it was kind of nostalgic. He never visited here since like 2 years. Why did he even say yes at such a laughable reason? Babysitting. Hanaa shook his head.

'Yao must have been desperate to find one. Else wise he would have never asked me.' He thought.

While he was thinking to himself he did not notice the small boy standing at the window looking at him with wide eyes.

"Aniki! There is a weirdo standing in front of the fence! And he slapped himself!" Yong-Soo shouted over his shoulders. He then jumped of the chair he stood on and ran up the stairs.

"Oh really? How interesting aru!" Yao said putting his papers into his bag. His eyes went over his room making sure everything is where it was supposed to be. He sighed as he took his bag and walked out of the room. He put it on a small table in the hallway.

"Yao! The guy is still standing there!" Mei shouted then as well. Yao went down the stairs looking out of the window as well. He saw Hanaa walking unhappily around. It looked like he was indecisive about his decision.

"Typical…" he murmured which caused Mei to look up to Yao.

"Do you know him?" she asked.

"Y-Yeah, I know him all too well aru." He said. Then he said towards Mei:"He's going to watch you guys over while I'm gone. So behave well okay?"

Mei nodded. She watched then him open the door hesitantly.

:::

Hanaa heard the door open and his head whirled around. Again this awkward silence. How he hated it.

"Hello Hanaa." Yao said quietly.

"Hello…" Hanaa replied.

"WAHHH! ANIKI KNOWS THE WEIRDO!" Yong-Soo screamed. He ran past Yao causing him to stumble. He was followed by Hong as well who calmly walked past. After that the two girls Mai and Anh peeked out of the door. Lastly Joe was behind the girls.

"That's… more than I expected…" Hanaa said dazed. He was surrounded by small children. And they all looked up and stared intently at him.

"Are you Yao's girl friend?" Yong-Soo suddenly asked.

"That's ridi- … No. I'm not his girlfriend." Hanaa said strained.

"No he is your babysitter aru." Yao said putting emphasis on the he. He looked at each of the children. "I expect you guys to behave understand aru?"

"Who is he anyway?" Anh chimed in.

"And it's a girl obviously!" Yong-Soo said then. "She has even longer hair then Yao!"

"HE has even longer hair then Yao." Hanaa said irritated.

"She! She! She!" Yong-Soo sang happily.

"Please stop arguing about her… I mean his gender aru!" Yao exclaimed. "He is your babysitter and that's all!"

Then anger disappeared from Hanaa's face. Instead a blank look was on his face. "Yes… Absolutely nothing else."

Noticing the heavy air Joe grinned. "So I hope we will have fun together ana!"

"Yeah we will have fun together!" Hanaa said back to a smile. "But first you guys can wait inside. I have some things to talk about with your big brother. Okay?"

"Yes!" all of them said and ran back inside. Giggling with each other they looked very happy. Hanaa then turned back to Yao his fake cheerfulness gone.

"So, for how long?"

"I'll come back at about 10 pm. Can you watch them until then aru?"

"Yeah, I have time. What about Kiku?"

"He is quite sick so he has to take his medicine at 3 pm. It's on the kitchen table aru. Actually I wrote down everything for you. It's on the kitchen table. Everything should be written there aru. I also wrote down my phone number there so if anything happens call me okay aru? And if Yong-Soo and Hong start arguing you should keep them away from fireworks. And do not let them in the kitchen alone. Also too much sugar will turn all of them hyper so be careful with the juice and etc. And do not let them into the attic under no circumstances aru. And do not let them draw onto the walls. Also-"

"I think I get it." Hanaa interrupted. Yao flushed in embarrassment as he noticed how long he was talking.

"Sorry aru. So … I wish you luck."

"Just go. I won't die here."

"See you later Hanaa."

Hanaa nodded and Yao walked past him. Hanaa looked over his shoulder but then focused back to the door. The children all stood there straining to hear the conversation. He chuckled and walked towards them. He knew this is going to be a long day.


	3. The Terror begins!

**Title:** Babysit basics

**Chapter:** The Terror begins!

**Notes: **Nothing really…

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Because if it belonged to me Prussia and Canada would be canon.

:::

If there would be a single little bit of parental quality inside Hanaa's mind it seemed to have disappeared the moment he was up close to the children. Since he didn't know what to say he waited for the kids to say something. But they didn't.

"So… what are your names? My name is Hanaa." He said in the attempt to spark a conversation.

"YONG-SOO CLAIMS YOUR BREAST!" the boy with the ridiculous hair curl exclaimed jumping up to grope him. But he was too small and barely reached Hanaa's stomach.

"There he goes again." Mei said rolling her eyes.

"Who taught him that anyway?" then Anh said. Both girls watched Hanaa then trying to fend of Yong-Soo's attack.

Hong already lost interest and disappeared somewhere inside the garden. Joe disappeared with him.

"Hey have you gone completely insane?" Hanaa exclaimed. That Yong-Soo boy now was clinging onto his leg making it very hard to shake him off.

"Well I'm bored." Anh said. "Let's go see what Hong is doing."

"Probably working on his fireworks again." Mei sighed.

Hanaa turned to the girls still with Yong-Soo on his foot. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH FIREWORKS?" he said Panic quite evident in his eyes.

"Ignore him. He is going to fail like all the other babysitters." Mei said sweeping her hair back. She then grabbed Anh's hand pulling her behind her.

"WAIT! What am I supposed to do with that guy?" But they already disappeared somewhere behind the bushes.

"You originated in KOREA!" Yong-Soo sang.

:::

As Kiku laid in his bed he heard the shouting of someone. Or that's what he thought. In his fever ridden state it could have been a hallucination. He cuddled into his blanket a little deeper. Probably it's just his siblings being the insane gang they were.

"I wonder what kind of babysitter it is…"

:::

As Mei ran through the hallway, pure terror flooded through her. She ran around the corner and stopped trying to catch her breath. Her heart beat so violently and her eyes were wide in fear. He already had the others. Now he was after her… But then…

"Mei…" a voice whispered right next to her ear.

She screamed and started to run again. He laughed and that made her chill to the bone. It was so cold, so merciless…

So cruel.

"You can run but you can't hide."

She got jerked around as he grabbed her arm. Hanaa then proceeded to put her on his shoulder like a sack. Mei started to struggle but it had no use. She was in his iron grip.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away there. It was a long time ago, the last time I tried to catch someone who ran away from me." Hanaa said casually.

A cold shiver ran down Mei's back. That guy was insane! He was completely and utterly insane!

"But no worries we are going to have a lot of … fun."

"We're doomed…" Mei sobbed.

:::

DUN-DUN-DUH!

YAY DONE WITH THAT CHAPTER! I am really sorry that it is so short. But I didn't update for a while and I thought to heck with it I'll just post.

Taiwan: WE'RE GOING TO DIE! *sob,sob,cry*

Mongolia: …Am I that scary?

Poriichu: Anyways! REVIEW PLEASE!

Taiwan: *Desperation*


	4. Yao has a boyfriend!

**Title:** Babysit basics

**Chapter:** Yao has a boyfriend?

**Notes: ** Warning! Includes slaughtering sheep's.

**Disclaimer: **Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekaz. Does not belong to me! Now leave me alone in my pain.

:::

For a matter of fact Hanaa wasn't quite sure what Yao taught these children. I mean apparently they don't even from where the food they are eating comes from. That's why he decided to take matters in his hands and show him how to properly prepare a sheep.

No one knows from where he got the sheep but he got it. Of course the kids started cooing over the fluffy animal. (Except Mei, she was still in the corner rocking back and forth and muttering ominous things of death despair and all that fun stuff) Who could resist that fluffy animal of cuteness and general innocence?

Answer: Hanaa can.

"Okay Kids who knows how to properly kill a sheep without dishonoring the animal and giving it a respectful passing away?" he asked cleaning one of the sharp knifes he found in the kitchen. He had to grudgingly admit that the knife was in an excellent state.

"Huh? What do you mean with that?" Yong-Soo asked his eyes wide.

"If you want to eat it alive you can do that although I don't approve of it."

"Wait, we are going to kill Mr. Wool?"

Hanaa sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. They named it? Oh for tengris sake no.

"Do you guys eat meat?" he asked.

There was general nodding. Hanaa looked at each one of them calculating the chances if they will break down or are strong enough to witness one of the processes of life. He took his chances.

"You know meat comes from living beings right?"

"IT DOES?" was the exclamation that came from every mouth except Hongs. But even he had a look of slight shock on his face. It was the same expression that is on kids that get told that Santa is not real.

"Yes it does! For tengris sake what did that Yao teach you?"

"Oh, oh I can count! One, two, three, four, five, and so on! After all math originated from Korea!"

Maybe they weren't quite ready for the bloody lesson of life. Well he learnt when he was the same age but he was raised in a rather drastic way. These city children don't have the same iron nerves as he did.

Hanaa sighed.

"You guys should play somewhere else for a while. I have something to do with …Mr. Wool."

"…Okay? Then people follow the amazing Yong-Soo! We shall conquer the garden! WEEEH!" He said his arms flailing around. He then ran out and dragged a rather pokerfaced Hong out of the door. The other two quickly followed. Mei was still in the corner but Anh came back and dragged her out too. Hanaa poked out his head out of the door and shouted after them:"JOE, DON'T LET THEM KILL EACH OTHER OKAY! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MOMENT!"

"Well let's do this." Hanaa said as he pulled a very used looking apron out of his bag. He pulled it over and pushed his sleeves back.

He proceeded into the preparation. Tugging the sheep by a thin rope he got the sheep to follow him. He got outside and walked a while to a place out of sight of the kids. He had to trust them not to kill themselves while he was busy.

The first step was knocking the sheep out with a blunt object. The sheep fell to his side unconscious. He then took the knife and with experienced hands he slit the sheep's throat across the spinal cord. He then took the back legs between his knees and pulled the wool up. He then started cutting the skin away from the rear.

It was a clean process because he has done it quite often already. He looked down on himself. Yep, definitely a bloody mess. But at least the kids will know the deliciousness of fresh meat! He took the body by the legs and put it in the already prepared box. He also drained the blood and put it in a plastic bag. After all food should not be wasted. And it tastes good when cooked.

He was back inside and took his glasses of to clean them, when he heard the knocking on the door. Hanaa sighed knowing he will give whoever stood at the door a nice scare with the blood and whatnot. Well, he was pretty wrong about that.

Hanaa opened the door and saw a very tall (Put emphasis on the very) man with roundish face features and general muscular build. He had silvery hair and …purple eyes. …Okay he has seen weirder.

"Oh hello Yao!" the man said with a prominent Russian accent. He smiled as he saw the blood on the cloths and hands of Hanaa. "Apparently you had some fun? Too bad I can't hug you then." He said and leaned forward to place a peck on Hanaa's (Not YAO'S) forehead.

Hanaa's face turned a very interesting shade of red when he realized what that man was doing. Who was he anyway? And why did he call him Yao? Wait a minute, when he thought Hanaa was Yao does that mean… Oh god. Yao has a lover. A very attractive lover but a lover nonetheless. Oh tengri.

Hanaa jerked away sputtering in Mongolian. The man suddenly looked very confused for the fact that Hanaa's voice is very different from Yao's.

"Who are you?" the man asked with a sudden ominous aura around him.

"That's what I want to ask!" Hanaa replied angrily completely oblivious to the evilness radiating from the man.

"You tell me first, da?"

"Fine! I am Hanaa the babysitter. Now you." Hanaa said not realizing he was pouting.

"…I am Ivan." He said his voice carefully masked. A babysitter? That means Yao must be out. Ivan smiled as a wicked thought went through his mind. That'd be a wonderful opportunity to explore his lovers house. There was only one thing puzzling him. That Hanaa looked awfully similar to Yao. If he wouldn't have heard the voice difference he would have sworn that that was Yao.

That was worth investigating.

:::

Oh yes finally done! Oh and whenever Hanaa is saying Tengri he is referring to the mongolian sky goddess.

Mongolia: Who is that and what does he have to do with YAO?

Ivan: ...kolkolkolkol...

Mongolia: Wow, you are weird.

Poriichu: Okay before bloody murder happens I should go.


End file.
